“We are a species that loves variety when it comes to romance,” couples’ counselor Deborah Fox, LCSW, wrote previously for mbg. “When it comes to planning a date night, what’s most important is to do something different. We need routine to feel secure, and we need novelty to make us feel alive.” What exactly is a dream map? DiNardo says it’s a map that includes short-term goals (like what you hope for tomorrow, next week, and this month), medium-length goals (the next six months to a year), and long-term goals (dreams for the next five, 10, or even 15 years). “Ask each other questions about why certain goals are there, what they mean to each other, what values they represent,” DiNardo adds. “Ask for and offer feedback to each other about how you can be supportive to each other in reaching these goals.” Consider the famous 36 questions to fall in love, or mbg’s massive list of conversation starters for couples. (mbg also has this convenient couples’ quiz to test how well you know each other.) Once we are lucky enough to find a partner, we need to be mindful about really giving them our attention and intimacy, even when life tries to get in the way. Date nights, bonding activities, and specially carved out time to connect can do wonders for the health of a relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together.
