So, if you want to learn more, we rounded up seven of the top books on attachment theory to get you started. As licensed marriage and family therapist Shane Birkel, LMFT, tells mbg, attachment theory comes down to someone’s earliest relationship: the one they had with their parents. This formative relationship is massively influential throughout a person’s life, playing out in adulthood as their attachment style. “It starts to really help people move away from blame and judgment and move toward understanding that their partner is just a very different person than them,” Birkel explains. He adds that with his own clients, he always wants to know how they were influenced by early family dynamics, and how they’re bringing that into their relationships now. And of course, if you’re a parent, when you’re aware of how the four different attachment styles come to be, you can approach your parenting in such a way that fosters a secure attachment style. Attachment Theory in Practice: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) With Individuals, Couples, and Families by Susan M. Johnson, $33 The Power of Attachment: How To Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships by Diane Poole Heller Ph.D., $16.13 The Attachment Theory Workbook: Powerful Tools To Promote Understanding, Increase Stability, and Build Lasting Relationships by Annie Chen, LMFT, $13.79 Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse and Build a Secure Relationship by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, $17.95 Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern, M.S., $15.31 Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love by Amir Levine, M.D., and Rachel S.F. Heller, M.A., $12.68 Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy With Trauma Survivors: Strengthening Attachment Bonds by Susan M. Johnson, $32
