The tendency to be closed off can also stem from previous relational experiences or trauma. It’s possible that this person could be “feeling shame around their experience and believe they should ‘hide’ that part of them,” Bruneau explains. Some people from conservative or collectivistic cultures may be less inclined to discuss personal issues, Bruneau adds. Generally speaking, men across many cultures are not encouraged to talk about their emotions, so many men have learned to resist doing so from a young age. It’s important to remember that people process things in their own way and at varying speeds, as well; they truly may not know how to answer your questions because they haven’t asked the questions themselves. “Someone might have a hard time opening up if they haven’t processed what they’re resistant to open up about,” she notes. “It’s uncomfortable for them to ‘go there,’ so they avoid it.” To keep the self-disclosure flowing, continue practicing the aforementioned tips, along with broader ways to deepen your connection as a couple, like prioritizing date nights and learning how to effectively work through disagreements. Changes may not happen overnight, but with a little patience and effort, you and your partner can figure out what works for you to really emotionally connect.
