According to the results of a survey conducted by AsapScience in 2015, 72 percent of women have masturbated in their lifetime. Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love and author of Sex That Works, tells mbg that masturbation is widely considered the “cornerstone of sexuality,” and as research shows, the reputation clearly stands. Solo sex is an opportunity to explore the body we’ve been given, to identify what makes us tick, and because knowledge is power, it can also amplify our experience with a partner. “I often say that you can’t be fully well without being sexually well,” Strgar writes. “[For example] we often don’t realize how closely correlated sexual satisfaction is with pain relief, but the cascade of hormones released in orgasm can diminish discomfort1 caused by everything from sore joints to menstrual cramps to headaches.” Despite all these positive benefits, there’s still something of a hush-hush when it comes to masturbation. But the more we talk about it, the more we can bust that archaic taboo. The truth is, there’s nothing at all embarrassing or shameful about treating yourself well and giving your body pleasure. It can, in fact, be a true act of self-care and a real ritual—involved, intentional, and luxurious. To celebrate the magic of masturbation, we asked nine real women to describe their most indulgent self-pleasure rituals for when they really want to make a night of it. Here’s what they told us. “Sometimes I read my Goal Achievement Script of my life a year from now, really feeling how gloriously delicious things are in my future. Sometimes I read sacred erotic material—love David Deida’s Blue Truth. Sometimes I just sit in silence, visualizing how my yet-to-meet lover will talk, touch, and be there for me. “I get off imagining my lover is watching me rub glorious oil all over my body, honoring my skin, my hair, my curves. A piece of dark chocolate slowly savored on the way to bed and perhaps one more slow, sensual dance by candlelight as I get into bed.” —Allana, 49 “I find that the total setting of switching off all outside energies and focusing on ‘me’ helps. And if you want a quick fix, I have this fantastic and fun vibrator that is shaped like mascara and great to carry with you or pull out when you need a little screaming ‘O.’” —Courtney, 40 “It’s no secret that I have sex every day with my husband. (I literally wrote a book about it.) But when I say sex, people usually don’t instantly think masturbation. Self-pleasuring is popular on the menu at my house. My husband and I have actually started calling it ’the usual’ because this is an easy method for a quick connection. Whether I let him watch or we service ourselves side-by-side, masturbation is an effective way to get exactly what I want—quick results.” —Caitlin, 33
