All three dismiss the notion that there comes a definitive stage of the relationship when you should meet the parents. However, Bronstein believes that it is possible to make the move too soon. “Around six months in the same city, dating and getting to know each other, is a nice average,” she says. “Just honor your voice. Don’t jump into it or be pressured to do something you’re not ready to do. If you’re taking this step, you should feel like you’re going to be with this person long term.” That said, you don’t want to treat meeting the parents like a job interview and Google them or grill your partner for personal information. “You should already know a bit about their parents at this point in the relationship,” Bronstein advises. “If you don’t, that could be an indicator that it might not be time to meet them just yet.” She says that digging and “knowing too much could make you show up inauthentic, and what’s most important is that you show up as you.” Though you don’t want to do any hard-core research, be sure you’re aware of important details. For instance, make sure you know the proper pronunciation of their names. Ask about dietary restrictions so you don’t show up with crab dip if mom has a seafood allergy. Learn just enough to not faceplant, but not so much that you start to feel like being yourself isn’t good enough. “The goal should be intentionality,” Asha says. In addition to all things significant other, you and their parents can talk about: Topics you may want to “test the water” on before initiating a full-blown discussion during that first meeting include: Don’t allow their opinions to dictate your behavior or your relationship. Be respectful. Be yourself. Live with the results and let them learn to love you for you.
