Instead, you should focus on the aspects of life you’re able to affect directly, which allows you to enact change while also maintaining your well-being. For guidance on how to do so, we can look to the Circle of Influence. According to Covey, there are two “circles” we can use to categorize our worries: the Circle of Concern (the things we care about), and the Circle of Influence (things we care about and can affect). The Circle of Concern encompasses anything you might be worried about, including your health, family, finances, the government, the state of the world, etc. Some of these things you can influence, and some of these you cannot. Anything you can directly address falls under the Circle of Influence. For example, you might be worried about what the government is going to do about the economy. This would fall under the Circle of Concern. It’s something that you’re worried about but can’t do much about. On the flip side, if you’re worried about a big work project you have to get done, that would fall under the Circle of Influence. It’s something you are concerned about that you can directly address through action. Of course, you shouldn’t ignore an issue just because it’s out of your control, but, Covey argues, you can alleviate some anxiety by focusing your energy on what falls directly inside your Circle of Influence. “Similar to icing a cake, if we only have one jar of frosting, we can either use it to spread just a tiny bit of frosting on every cake in the world, or we can use the jar to make one very good cake.” In order to start allocating your energy in an effective way, you’ll need to be able to decipher what falls both inside and outside your Circle of Influence. Here’s how: “If you cannot find any evidence that your efforts are leading to incremental change, it may be worth reorganizing your approach to influence or putting your efforts elsewhere.” Using the Circle of Influence, you can set and maintain boundaries with yourself. Instead of focusing on a larger end goal, ask yourself, “What is one thing I can do today to help accomplish what I want in the future?” suggests Chum. “This question allows us to recognize what actions or decisions are within our Circle of Influence that can help us work toward satisfying our Circle of Concern.” “In order to sustain influence, we need to prioritize self-care,” says Grosso. “There needs to be a balance in replenishing ourselves as we expend energy outside of ourselves. The more we tend to ourselves—mind, body, and spirit—the greater our capacity to influence others and meaningful causes.” Again, writing down your concerns and your life goals can help make the circle feel more clear. “If one has a goal of becoming a teacher but currently holds no credentials to do so, one can first recognize what is within their Circle of Influence may simply be to submit an application for a teaching program,” says Chum. It’s also important to note that while you may not be able to control everything, there may be others who can have more of an impact on something that falls outside of your circle. In these cases, it may be beneficial to sync up with others to achieve shared goals. “Don’t be afraid to reach out and share your passions with others,” says Grosso. “Start a Slack channel, work group, or virtual Zoom meeting to share visions and goals.”
