Somewhat largely misunderstood, soul ties aren’t just about sex—though sex certainly can strengthen or enhance a soul tie. So what is it, really? We asked the experts, plus got the lowdown on how to break a soul tie if you feel stuck in one. The idea that intercourse causes a soul tie has roots in the Christian tradition, “to perpetuate the idea that if you have sex outside of marriage, you’ll be connected to someone,” Blaylock-Johnson explains. But she goes on to say that “soul ties,” at least in regard to sex, are really attachments in disguise and “an over-spiritualization of normal feelings.” Additionally, although the bonding hormone oxytocin is released during orgasm1, not all sexual partners go on to feel emotionally bonded to each other after the experience. (See casual dating and friends with benefits situations, both of which can be done in a healthy way.) With that in mind, professional intuitive and author of Self-Care for Empaths Tanya Carroll Richardson says soul ties can also refer to the broad term describing any kind of soul connection between two people. “You could have known each other in a past life, be from the same soul family, or simply have a soul contract to meet up in this lifetime and have some type of relationship or experience together.” And they don’t have to be romantic relationships, she adds. You may even quickly realize this person isn’t an uplifting presence in your life. “You might have strong feelings or be drawn to someone initially,” she explains, “but as soon as you get to know them, you quickly realize you don’t want to be around them. Honor that feeling and intuitive hit.” “Sometimes,” she adds, “one person can be a bit more attached or have the feeling that they’re more connected than the other, so really understanding your own attachment style may be helpful so you can then better advocate for yourself and what it is you’re wanting and needing in your relationship.” As Richardson adds, you should never stay in an unhealthy situation simply because you feel you have a soul tie with someone. “Many relationships and situations in life are not meant to last forever and have a natural expiration date,” she explains. “If you feel you have a strong soul tie with someone, but they still don’t want to date you, be in a business partnership with you, etc., honor their own free will and wisdom.” She also notes that losing a connection with someone isn’t easy, and whether you’re looking at it through the lens of breaking a soul tie or healing in some other sense, “making sure you connect with an appropriate professional who can help you through that” is important. Richardson echoes this, recommending you get any help you need, whether from loved ones or mental health professionals. And as Richardson adds: Remember, you have lots of options in this lifetime. If you feel you have a soul tie with a friend but you have both outgrown that friendship, “don’t feel that you’ll never find another special friend. The universe is very receptive and will help you find new friendships that are more aligned and appropriate for your life now,” she says.
