What we do know is that there are parenting styles that remain fairly consistent—even if these styles present themselves differently in real life. And what are these styles? Well, experts have narrowed it to four of them; here, we explain. What she found was four different styles, those being authoritative, uninvolved, permissive, and disciplinarian (also known as authoritarian). “What it comes down to is where the parent falls on the grid of sensitivity and expectations,” says Aliza Pressman, Ph.D., co-founding director and director of clinical programming for the Mount Sinai Parenting Center. “Sensitivity is about warmth and nurturing your child’s needs and emotions; expectations are about instilling responsibility in your child and setting boundaries.” While these four styles are distinct, parents may identify behaviors from multiple camps (people are complex, after all); however, it is more about how the parenting style comes across generally. There is also a major cultural context for these. “How you define what makes up these parenting styles may look different for different cultures and communities,” says Pressman. “How one community expresses sensitivity and love may be different from how another community does; just because it’s not how you do it doesn’t mean they are not being sensitive or that they don’t love their child just as much. So these styles still ring true, it’s just how they are expressed may be different.” As for the children, this parenting style can cause the child to feel an absence of control over their lives, lessened self-respect, and an undercurrent of stress. “The child has little to no say, which often leads them to feel more anxious,” says Beurkens. Beurkens agrees: “They rarely say no to their children, tend to use bribes to shape behavior, and don’t generally provide much structure,” she says. Unfortunately, this parenting style means kids grow up without structure and therefore “struggle with taking responsibility, do more poorly in school, and tend to have self-esteem problems.” And at its worst? “This is basically just neglect,” says Pressman. As for the children raised in uninvolved homes, they tend to struggle the most as well. “They have trouble with relationships, academics, self-esteem, mental health, and more,” says Beurkens. So why does this parenting style work so well? It helps children develop into responsible, caring people—mainly through leading by example. “Authoritative parents are thought to be the most developmentally supportive blend of authoritarian and permissive parents,” says Beurkens. “They take the child’s thoughts and feelings into account when deciding on the limits and imposing consequences. Children raised by authoritative parents tend to be the most well-adjusted, have good social skills, and better emotional and behavior regulation than those raised in homes where the other three parenting types are utilized.”
