Here’s everything you need to know about being pansexual, or “pan” for short. “As someone who identifies as pansexual, I define pansexuality as being attracted to people who are located anywhere along the spectrum of gender identity,” says psychologist Akilah Sigler, LMHC. This isn’t to say pansexual people are attracted to everyone, but gender just isn’t the defining factor in who they are and aren’t attracted to. Some pansexual people say that they’re attracted to people based on personality, with gender playing no role at all. “But I do want to say that most of the terms that define sexuality are expansive, and there are many nuances in the ways that different people define and experience their pansexuality,” Sigler adds. “This may mean that someone’s gender is not a determining factor in desire to have sex with or date and possibly even that gender is irrelevant in terms of someone’s attraction,” Jesse Khan, LCSW-R, CST, licensed sex therapist and director at The Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in NYC, tells mbg. For example, maybe you’ve experienced having a crush on men, women, non-binary people—kind of anyone. Or, you can at least imagine yourself doing so. The same goes with sex. “Historically, bisexuality is used to describe attraction to both the same and ‘opposite’ gender, [and] the way it has often been used is very binary,” gender and sex therapist Rae McDaniel, LCPC, CST, tells mbg. “Many folks found that limiting and not inclusive of the vast spectrum of gender identities and expressions, so the term ‘pansexuality’ was born to talk about attractions to people of many different genders.” In reality, bisexuality means attraction to two or more genders—and so practically speaking, it can involve attraction to just as diverse a selection of people as pansexuality. Even so, it’s possible that the term “bisexual” just doesn’t align with you for some reason, or you personally just like the nuance of “pansexual.” It may take some time or experimentation to find out whether this label comfortably defines you, and that’s totally OK too! “There’s no identity that is inherently better or more enlightened than others,” Khan says, adding: “You’re allowed to change the language and words you use to describe yourself. Some pansexual and bisexual people also use the word queer.” That said, people in the LGBTQ+ community often use these terms fluidly. Some bisexual people define their bisexuality as being attracted to the same gender and other genders, for example, while others who self-identify as bisexual are attracted to people of all genders. A person might be attracted to men and women, women and another gender, several different genders, or just about all genders—all of it is bisexuality. Practically speaking, some pansexual people and bisexual people might be attracted to the exact same types of people. The main difference is that being pansexual is specifically attraction to all types of people, regardless of gender, whereas bisexuality is simply attraction to multiple genders (which may or may not include all genders). Some people consider pansexuality to thus be one form of bisexuality, under which identities like heteroflexible might also fall. “There’s the misconception that bisexual people are only attracted to cisgender people or may be inclusive of transgender individuals who fit in the binary, but that’s not necessarily inherent in the definition,” Khan explained. “There may be some bisexual people who that is true for, but there are also many bi people who that doesn’t resonate for them.” Whatever your identity may be, it’s important to avoid misconceptions about bisexuality—that it’s inherently binary or only involves attraction to cis women and cis men. That isn’t the case. At the end of the day, identity is very personal. Follow your truth and pick whichever word feels right to you.
